Welcome to another episode of Your Marriage Matters, the podcast where we explore the keys to a successful and fulfilling marriage. I'm your host, Jim Jacobus, and I'm joined by my wonderful co-host and partner, Christie Jacobus.

Summary: In today's episode, we dive into the essential elements of a healthy relationship. We'll discuss effective communication, healthy conflict resolution, mutual respect, emotional support, quality time, boundaries and independence, shared responsibilities, physical intimacy, emotional resilience, and mutual goals and growth. These elements form the foundation of a thriving and lasting marriage.

Key Points:

1. Effective Communication: Open and honest communication is crucial for couples. We explore the importance of active listening, expressing thoughts and emotions clearly, and avoiding defensive or aggressive behavior. Communication lays the groundwork for understanding and connection in your relationship.

2. Healthy Conflict Resolution: Disagreements and conflicts are inevitable in any relationship. We'll share valuable insights on cultivating healthy conflict resolution skills, such as active listening, compromise, and finding solutions together. By addressing conflicts constructively, you can strengthen your bond and grow together.

3. Mutual Respect: Respect is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. We emphasize the significance of respecting each other's opinions, boundaries, and individuality. We'll provide tips on recognizing and appreciating each other's strengths and differences, fostering a sense of harmony and appreciation.

4. Emotional Support: During challenging times, emotional support is vital. We'll discuss the importance of being empathetic, understanding, and offering reassurance and encouragement to each other. Discover how to navigate difficult moments as a team and build a strong foundation of emotional support.

5. Quality Time: Spending quality time together is essential for maintaining a thriving marriage. We delve into the significance of regular shared activities that both partners enjoy, fostering connection and intimacy. Discover ways to prioritize quality time and strengthen your bond.

6. Boundaries and Independence: Maintaining personal boundaries and respecting each other's need for space and individuality is key to a healthy relationship. We discuss the importance of encouraging each other's personal growth and interests while fostering a sense of togetherness and support.

7. Shared Responsibilities: Establishing a fair division of household chores, financial responsibilities, and decision-making promotes a sense of equality and reduces stress. We provide strategies for effectively managing shared responsibilities, creating a balanced and harmonious partnership.

8. Physical Intimacy: Physical affection, intimacy, and sexual connection are vital aspects of a healthy relationship. We delve into the significance of open communication about desires, needs, and boundaries, creating a safe and fulfilling space for physical intimacy.

9. Emotional Resilience: Cultivating emotional resilience as a couple is essential for navigating challenging times. We explore strategies for supporting each other during difficult moments, promoting self-care practices, and seeking professional help when needed. Discover how to build emotional strength as a team.

10. Mutual Goals and Growth: Setting shared goals, dreams, and aspirations is a powerful way to strengthen your bond. We discuss the importance of supporting each other's personal growth and celebrating achievements together. Explore how mutual goals can enhance your connection and create a fulfilling future.

Building a strong foundation for your marriage requires attention to these essential elements: effective communication, healthy conflict resolution, mutual respect, emotional support, quality time, boundaries and independence, shared responsibilities, physical intimacy, emotional resilience, and mutual goals and growth. By prioritizing these elements, you can create a lasting and fulfilling partnership. Thank you for joining us on Your Marriage Matters. We look forward to bringing you more valuable insights and discussions in future episodes. Remember, your marriage truly matters.

JIm & Christie Jacobus

Does your physical health impact the health of your relationship? Simple answer - absolutely!

Join us on a journey to prioritize your physical health as a couple and strengthen your bond like never before. We are thrilled to present ten essential habits that will revolutionize your approach to physical well-being. Are you ready to embark on this exciting adventure together?

1️⃣ Regular Exercise Together: Discover the joy of shared physical activities. Whether it's taking leisurely walks, cycling, swimming, dancing, or joining a fitness class, exercising as a couple not only improves your physical health but also deepens the connection between you.

2️⃣ Meal Planning and Cooking Together: Unleash your culinary creativity and plan nutritious meals as a team. Engage in grocery shopping, meal prepping, and cooking to transform these activities into fun and collaborative endeavors.

3️⃣ Healthy Eating Habits: Embrace a balanced diet with an abundance of fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lean proteins, and healthy fats. Bid farewell to processed foods, sugary drinks, excessive salt, and sugar consumption to embark on a healthier lifestyle together.

4️⃣ Regular Sleep Schedule: Create a sleep routine that nourishes your bodies and minds. Prioritize getting enough sleep each night by cultivating a relaxing environment and developing nighttime rituals that promote restful slumber.

5️⃣ Active Weekend Outings: Embrace the beauty of the outdoors by planning exhilarating weekend activities like hiking, cycling, kayaking, or exploring new places. As you immerse yourselves in physical activity, you'll forge unforgettable memories together.

6️⃣ Active Date Nights: Break free from the mundane and infuse your date nights with energy. Opt for active adventures like bowling, mini-golf, or dance classes. By embracing physical activity, you'll add excitement and variety to your relationship.

7️⃣ Team Sports or Recreational Leagues: Rediscover the thrill of friendly competition as you join local sports teams or recreational leagues together. This fantastic opportunity not only keeps you active but also allows you to expand your social circle.

8️⃣ Regular Health Check-ups: Prioritize your well-being by scheduling routine check-ups with healthcare professionals. By staying vigilant and catching potential issues early, you can ensure a healthier future for both of you.

9️⃣ Fitness Challenges or Goals: Unleash your inner athlete by setting fitness goals or challenges as a couple. Train for a charity run, participate in fitness challenges, or aim to reach a specific number of steps or workout sessions per week. Together, you can achieve greatness.

🔟 Support Each Other's Wellness: Stand as pillars of strength and support each other's physical health journeys. Be the accountability partner your partner deserves, encouraging and motivating one another to stay consistent with exercise, healthy eating, and overall well-being.

Remember, your physical health is a team effort. By embarking on this transformative podcast journey with us, you'll discover the power of supporting and motivating each other. Together, you can create a positive and healthy lifestyle that not only benefits both individuals but also strengthens the unbreakable bond you share as a couple.

Tune in to Your Marriage Matters with Jim and Christie Jacobus, where we'll delve into each habit and provide practical strategies to incorporate them into your lives. Let's make your marriage thrive through the power of physical health!

Jim & Christie "Team" Jacobus

Welcome to "The Relationship Blueprint: Mastering 5 Habits for Sustained Success!" with your hosts, Jim and Christie Jacobus! Join us for an exciting podcast episode where we explore the fascinating world of habits and how they can shape your life.

In this special series spanning five weeks (and possibly more!), we'll guide you on a journey towards building incredible habits that will amplify the magic in your relationship. Are you ready to make your dreams a reality?

Our first habit is all about fostering strong communication through regularly scheduled weekly "team" meetings. Discover the immense benefits of setting aside dedicated time to align your visions, discuss goals, and support each other's aspirations. We'll share practical insights and a suggested agenda to help you get started.

Tune in and embark on this transformative adventure with us. Together, we'll unlock the potential of habits and create an extraordinary future that surpasses your expectations.

Join Jim and Christie Jacobus on "Habits Unleashed" - the podcast that empowers you to shape your destiny, one habit at a time. Let's dive in!

Jim & Christie "Team" Jacobus

Do you want to learn how to achieve big things in your life without putting your relationship at risk? Well, you're in luck! In this podcast, we reveal the secret behind our success in working together as a couple. We call it the I D E A process, and it's a simple yet powerful tool that can help you achieve your goals without sacrificing your relationship.

I D E A stands for:

• Inspiration
• Discussion
• Education
• Action

We'll guide you through each step and show you how to apply it to both big and small projects. But that's not all! We'll also share some essential ground rules that will improve not only your relationship with each other but also your individual lives.

Whether you're planning a wedding, building a home, or pursuing a career, this podcast is a must-listen for any engaged couple looking to achieve success without compromising their love for each other.

Tune in now and discover how the I D E A process can transform your relationship!

Jim & Christie Jacobus 

What moments in a wedding day are critical to your personal enjoyment and the enjoyment of your guests? 

Well, Jim did a wedding this past weekend and on our way home we started discussing all of the great moments that were had by the couple and the guests and we had so much fun reliving the event we thought ... "why not do a podcast about it"!

So, here are 10 Key Moments In A Wedding Day You Absolutely Want To Get Right"!

We trust you will enjoy! Let us know if you have any questions ... 

PS ... just seriously dating? Still a fun discussion to have!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

What is one of the most important skills a couple can develop to keep their lives together vibrant and exciting? That is learning to create a shared vision for their futures both as individuals and as a couple. 

We always talk about being intentional. In this podcast we discuss how important it is to have:

• A clear mission!
• A clear vision!
• A clear set of shared values!
• A set of goals both individual and as a couple
• And committing to be a great team!

We also encourage you to sit down and go through our Bucket List exercise. Download that exercise on our Facebook page documents section by Clicking Here!

As always we want you to know that we are here for you if we can help in any way and to remind you that YOUR Marriage Matters! 

See ya next week gang ... 

Team Jacobus

Ever wondered what it would be like to be in a relationship with or marry someone who is fully committed to being the best version of themselves and is always growing and improving in every aspect of their life? It would be pretty awesome, don't you think?

There's a quote that we often use to guide our search for the right person to share our life with: "become the person the person you are looking for is looking for." So, if we want to find someone who is always growing, we must also be on that same path ourselves.

In this episode, we will discuss why it is crucial to continually grow and learn, and we will offer numerous ideas on how to achieve it. If you're reading this and listening to YOUR Marriage Matters, you're already on the right track! Let's make personal growth a part of our daily lives.

Remember: "As long as we are learning, we are living...the moment we stop learning is the moment we start to die." We hope you enjoy this podcast as we conclude our series on the 4 Cornerstones of a great life together!

To join the Facebook Group YOUR Marriage Matters, Click Here!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Let's get this straight ... you will have problems, challenges and outright conflicts in your relationship! It is inevitable!!! How you handle them will be the key to the success in your lives moving forward!

Handling them well will actually enhance the strength of your connection as well as creating a deeper level of intimacy you won't be able to ever experience without these skills and principles!

So, here is what you will find in this podcast:

• Conflict is a normal part of a healthy relationship!
• One of our favorite skills - "Rate the Debate"!
• Another of our faves - "Fight NAKED"!
• Some biblical wisdom from Luke 16: 41-42
• And our own personal challenges and victories when it comes to solving challenges we have faced together!

Enjoy the podcast and let us know if we can help you in any way!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Is there any more critical in a relationship than being able to effectively communicate openly and transparently with each other? NOPE!!! There is not!

That is one of the reasons we are constantly doing podcasts about communications, teaching workshops that always include communications and, work very hard about improving our own communications. It is that critical!

In this podcast we:

• Share with you two very important skill sets in the form of our Speaker Checklist and our Listener Checklist. You can Click Here to download our PDF that covers these two skills!
• We will also share with you 10 No No's when it comes to effectively communicating with each other (and the rest of the world for that matter!)
• Have 7 Powerful Communication Tools we all need to be intentional about mastering and using day in and day out!
• Will teach you one of the most powerful techniques we teach in our workshops we call "The Two Chairs".

At the end of the podcast we give you 6 conversations you can use to practice the checklists, avoiding the No No's, the 7 tools and the chairs! Here are the  6 Great Conversations we created just for you: 

1. One thing I would like for us to find common ground on is … 
2. It really hurts my feelings when you … 
3. One thing you could do that would really make me feel loved is ….
4. I would like to see us reduce our spending on … 
5. When it comes to our families could we …
6. The one thing I think would make us a better team is …

Also, in the podcast we referred to one of our favorite tools, The Relational Needs Survey and learning more about making our partner feel loved. Here are the links to the two podcasts about the Relational Needs Assessment! Take the time to do this and watch how your relationship grows!!! 

• Click Here to access the podcast on How To Make Your Partner Feel Loved!
• Click Here to access the podcast on Getting the Most From Your Relational Needs Survey!
• Click Here to download the Relational Needs Survey!

As always, if you have any questions or if we can help in any way please feel free to reach out to us by responding to this podcast post or go on over to our YOUR Marriage Matters Facebook Group!

Be sure and join us next week as we tackle the 2nd most important skill set we all need to develop - solving problems and resolving conflict! 

Click Here To Listen To The Podcast! 

Never ever forget how much YOUR Marriage Matters!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

What better way to answer that question than going straight to two "Nearlywed" couples that are just weeks away from saying :I do" and interview them?

 
Hannah and Austin

 Mindy and Chris

In this week's episode we ask these guys some great, even tough, questions about what their seriously dating and engagement phases have been like! You will hear them answer, very candidly, the following questions:

• Why do you want to get married?
• What have been some of the struggles you have faced while dating and engaged?
• What have been the fun parts of this time in your lives? Any unexpected blessings?
• What, if anything, do you think will be different once you say "I do"?
• Imagine you have been married for 30 years ... what would you want people to say about you individually and as a couple? 
• What is one piece of advice or insight you would want to give our couples out there that are engaged or seriously dating?

This was both a fun interview and a great learning experience. We trust you will enjoy it!

• For your homework this week Click Here to download our discussion on creating a "Bucket List" together!
• And, Click Here to download our Speaker/Listener Checklist to guide you through the discussion above!
• Additionally we encourage you to join our Facebook group by Clicking Here!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Hey gang!

In this podcast episode we preview a series we have entitled The 4 Foundations of A Great Relationship! It is intended to do exactly what the title says. As you are seriously dating or engaged we want you to begin working on the 4 things that will become the backbone of you experiencing everything you hope for if/when you walk down the aisle together to say "I DO"!

We will be covering the following:

• Communication
• Conflict resolution and/or problem solving
• Creating a shared vision
• Committing to being the best version of yourselves both individually and collectively
• And, we have an interview with a few couples that are currently engaged and just months, or weeks, away from saying I DO to get their insights on this very important time in their lives!

We will also be sharing a little bit of our story and how we got here as well as the importance of commitment and intentionality! So, we trust you will enjoy this overview and join us in the weeks to come as we tackle these critical pieces to your success as a couple!

• For your homework this week Click Here to download our discussion on creating a "Bucket List" together!
• And, Click Here to download our Speaker/Listener Checklist to guide you through the discussion above!
• Additionally we encourage you to join our Facebook group by Clicking Here!

Have an awesome week and join us for our podcast on Communication Skills!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Are we excited about you getting married? Yes, we are! Are there reasons to hit the STOP Button on getting married? Absolutely! Are these "life sentences"? Now way! But, if not dealt with before you walk down that aisle and say "I DO" they will cause you a world of hurt. If not dealt with now they could very easily lead to a divorce at a later date.

What are good reasons to hit the STOP Button?

• Addiction
• Abuse
• Response to internal or external pressures
• Thinking marriage will fix your fiancee
• Not having a "non negotiable" met by your future spouse

In this podcast we go into each of these in detail and provide you with some options when it comes to dealing with them. Again, these are not life sentences. As a matter of fact, we have seen some of the strongest marriage we know come out of a couple's dedication to dealing with one or more of these marriage killers!

There are also a handful of reasons to hit the PAUSE Button on your nuptials as well. Meaning we are going to acknowledge these challenges and begin to address them now. The great thing about this approach is it helps us develop our communication and problem skills during our engagement which is a microcosm of what are married life is going to be like together!

There you have it! 5 Reasons To Absolutely Hit the STOP Button On Getting Married!

If you have any questions please let us know. We are always here to help! Here are a couple of things you can do to help us ...

• Click Here to download our Speaker Listener Checklist!
• Click Here to join our Your Marriage Matters Facebook Group!
• If you enjoyed the podcast we would appreciate your giving it a 5 star review! That will help others find it more easily.

Join us next week as we kick off a new series on The 4 Foundations of A Great Relationship!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Why get married? That is a question we have been asking our seriously dating and engaged couples for years. Their answers are as varied as there are colors in a sunset! 

Some of those reasons are clearly well thought through while some give reason for pause. The good reasons do not guarantee success nor do the not so good reasons mean certain failure. That said, it pays to have a serious conversation or two or three or (you get where we are coming from) about the most important decision either of you will make in your adult lives. 

So, in this episode we walk you through what we feel like are great reasons for getting married. It isn't an exhaustive list but it is a pretty good place to start. 

We have also provided you with some tools for this conversation in the form of a brainstorming process we like to use often when we are wanting to go deeper in a conversation. You can use this process for a lot of different decisions you will need to make together.

And, we have provided you with two of our PDF tools as resources for this conversation. You can ... 

• Click Here to download our Reasons To Get Married exercise
• Click Here to download our speaker/Listener Checklist exercise. You can find the podcast for that tool at YMM 

As always we appreciate it if you can share this podcast with your friends and family that you think might benefit! And, go join the Facebook group by Clicking Here! 

We will see you next week when we will cover some really good reasons not to get married or at least think a little more about your decision! 

Always here for you ... 

Jim and Christie @TeamJacobus

We have two awesome things to share with you this week!!!

First, happy Valentine's Day!!! In this podcast we cover the 5 Love Languages and give you some ideas on how to use them to make Valentine's Day, or any day, very special this year!

And then we share with you a new direction we are taking with the YOUR Marriage Matters podcast! We have a new focus we are so excited about so check it out and let us know what you think! 

We appreciate all of your support and are so excited about the new book and the plans we have for you moving forward!

Jim & Christie "Team Jacobus"

What's The One Thing You Can Do To Change the Trajectory of YOUR Marriage? 

Well, when we started thinking about it we couldn't come up with just one ... we came up with four of them!!! Each of these in their own way can make a huge difference in your marriage. If you can, do it together even if you both choose a different one. If your spouse isn't on board then pick one and do it yourself! If either member of the relationship gets better then the marriage gets better!

The four are simple but not necessarily easy. As a matter of fact they can be downright hard. But, they are worth your investment of time and energy. Here are the options:

• #1 - fix your stuff! A lot of the marriages we see are struggling because of childhood trauma/experiences that one or both partners bring into the marriage! Time to grow up, deal with it and put it in the rear view mirror so you can move forward and experience all of the joy and happiness you deserve!!!
• #2 - let's get physical! We aren't challenging anyone to be an olympic athlete, unless of course you can then go for it! We are challenging everyone to commit to being as healthy as they can be! Time to get up off of the couch, put down the fork and invest in being healthy!
• #3 - exercise your brain! In #2 we talk about exercising your body. In this one we talk about how important it is to regularly exercise and stretch our brains! As long as we are learning we are living ... the moment we stop learning is the moment our marriage begins to die!!! Grab an article and read it! Read, or listen, to a book! Subscribe to a podcast ... there's an idea!!! Do something that regularly stimulates your brain to grow and get new ideas!
• #4 - find your tribe! Don't try and go this alone. It is so important for us all to find a group of friends that are in the same stage of life we are in so two wonderful things happen! First, we find out we are not alone and the struggles we have are not unique! Second, we learn from others, and they learn from us, how they have successfully navigated the rough waters we are currently in! Find a tribe you can lean on as you experience marriage together! PS ... we find our tribe at church. We highly recommend it!!!

So, there you have it! 4 powerful strategies you can implement to get grow both individually and as a couple! Let us know what you think and which one you choose!

Here Are Some Marriage Resources for You!!!

When it comes to that last one we wanted to give you some simple and easy to use resources for investing in each other!!! From previous episodes:

• Take the time to learn what makes your spouse feel loved by taking our "Relationship Needs Survey"! This is a real eye opener and will give you the keys to your mates heart! Click Here to access that episode!
• One of the most powerful things a couple can do is to work on creating a "Shared Vision" for their life together! In our episode on the subject we offered a downloadable pdf workbook to help you in the process! Click Here to access that episode and download your own Bucket List Exercise! WARNING ... it could lead to living full time in a RV or some similar life adventure!!!
• One more simple thing you can do to access a great resource is to join our YOUR Marriage Matters Facebook Group where we share a ton of additional information for building a more vibrant, healthy marriage! Click Here to go to our Facebook Group and join in!!!
• Oooooooppppssss! Almost forgot you can grab our book 52 Great Conversations for Building A More Vibrant, Healthy Marriage! Click Here to grab your copy!

"You Are Not Likely To Protect YOUR Marriage If You Don't Believe
There Is Any Danger"

Rick Reynolds - The Affair Recovery Center

Last week we did our podcast on The 5 Early Warning Signs That Your Marriage Could Be In Trouble! A lot of the feedback was ... what can we do to get ahead of these early warning signs?!?

This week we are going to give every 3 strategies, or 3 Great Ways To Invest In Your Marriage! While they are simple, they are by no means easy! Here you go ...

• Invest in YOUR Marriage by ... being a student of yourself! Be open and honest about who you are and who you are not and make the commitment to become the best version of yourself possible. Then be open and honest with your spouse about it and trust they will love you, just as you are, unconditionally!
• Invest in YOUR Marriage by ... becoming a student of your spouse! Know their Love Languages, know their Relational Needs (we have a podcast dedicated to this subject HERE!), know their personality styles, know what is on their Bucket List (yet another podcast on this subject HERE!) and on and on and on! You can never know enough about your spouse!
• Invest in YOUR Marriage by ... becoming a student of marriage! There is so much to know about this subject that you can, and likely will, spend an entire lifetime dedicated to learning more about it! The cool news is that it is THE MOST WORTHWHILE pursuit you will ever undertake!

Understand YOUR Marriage Matters and it is in constant danger if we aren't vigilant in how we protect it!

We love you and appreciate you and we want to see you and your relationship succeed beyond your wildest dreams!

Here are a couple of additional ways you can be proactive!

One more simple thing you can do to access a great resource is to join our YOUR Marriage Matters Facebook Group where we share a ton of additional information for building a more vibrant, healthy marriage! Click Here to go to our Facebook Group and join in!!!

Oooooooppppssss! Almost forgot you can grab our book 52 Great Conversations for Building A More Vibrant, Healthy Marriage! Click Here to grab your copy!

YOUR Marriage, just like your health, has early warning signs when something isn't just right! Identifying what those signs are, looking to see if they are present in your marriage and then taking action to fix them can save you and your partner a whole lot of grief!!!

5 Early Warning Signs YOUR Marriage Could Be In Trouble!!!

In this podcast we look at 5 specific warning signs we look for in the couples we work with. They are ...

• Losing our connection with each other!
• Avoiding spending time with each other!
• Not making our marriage a priority!
• Talking bad about our spouse, or marriage, to others!
• Not being intentional when it comes to investing in our marriage!

When it comes to that last one we wanted to give you some simple and easy to use resources for investing in each other!!! From previous episodes:

• Take the time to learn what makes your spouse feel loved by taking our "Relationship Needs Survey"! This is a real eye opener and will give you the keys to your mates heart! Click Here to access that episode!
• One of the most powerful things a couple can do is to work on creating a "Shared Vision" for their life together! In our episode on the subject we offered a downloadable pdf workbook to help you in the process! Click Here to access that episode and download your own Bucket List Exercise! WARNING ... it could lead to living full time in a RV or some similar life adventure!!!
• One more simple thing you can do to access a great resource is to join our YOUR Marriage Matters Facebook Group where we share a ton of additional information for building a more vibrant, healthy marriage! Click Here to go to our Facebook Group and join in!!!
• Oooooooppppssss! Almost forgot you can grab our book 52 Great Conversations for Building A More Vibrant, Healthy Marriage! Click Here to grab your copy!

So, make the commitment today to not allow any of these red flags to show up in your relationship without taking action in a proactive way! Obviously if we can help in any way let us know. E-mail us, message us or post your question on the Facebook Group! We are always here for you ...

Jim & Christie Jacobus

We are calling YOU out! But, we are calling ourselves out first!!!

We are frustrated, mostly Jim is frustrated, by what we perceive as a lack of interest people have in investing in their marriages! That is until they get into a crisis situation. That has made itself real to us many, many times through the years. That is why we began this podcast in the first place ... to keep couples out of Christie's counseling room and Jim's Divorce Care class!

Someone Is Getting Called Out! It Could Be You!!!

It seems to us like people, you maybe, don't care!!! While the podcast gets solid numbers in the way of downloads it has very little engagement in the way of comments or feedback on any of our distribution channels like YouTube, Facebook, ITunes and the rest. So, we are doing 2 things ...

• Calling ourselves out to be more engaged ourselves and do a better job of providing resources and promoting the podcast.
• Calling you, our listeners, viewers, friends and family out to become more intentional in providing us your feedback and engagement in this process!

In the podcast we also speak to what we feel like are the most important elements to building the marriage you dreamed of when you said "I Do"!

So, there you have it! You have been called out and we have called ourselves out as well! Join us in helping to build a more vibrant, healthy marriage for yourselves and for others.

Thanks! We love and appreciate each of you. Let us know how we can help you ...

Jim & Christie Jacobus

To live the "life of your dreams" you are going to have to make some big decisions! You may also have to change direction sometimes ... even when the direction you are going is exciting and compelling!!! The question is how do you go about making these types of decisions and/or change direction?

For a while now we have been using, and teaching, a process we came up with called I D E A! It goes like this ...

• Inspiration - you have a compelling idea.
• Discussion - you talk about it together and examine the pluses and the minuses with an open mind.
• Education - you learn as much as you can about the decision you want to make.
• Action - when the time comes (don't go too fast, or wait too long) you have to take action to make it happen!

We Made A BIG Decision! Another Life Lesson "From the Road"!!!

In this episode we walk you through our decision to become Park Hosts at Brazos Bend State Park near Houston, Texas! It was a bucket list item for the two of us yet there were a lot of things to consider. That said, we made the decision and we are so excited about our stay here!

Need to make a decision? Try I D E A out and let us know how it goes for you!!!

What is "travel day" like with Team Jacobus? What can we learn about marriage from how these two live out their full time RV'ing lifestyle?

Travel Day With Team Jacobus! (Some "Lessons From the Road")

It turns out, in this raw and uncut podcast, that there is a tone we can learn about the power of living out a dream and a shared vision! We can also learn a lot about how a ton of stuff has to get done and their approach to a shared workload!

Tune in and hear what "travel day" is like for Team Jacobus!

As we wrap up our "I Am Not the Enemy" series we look at what role do we play when it comes to dealing with conflict and struggles in a healthy and productive manner!

In this podcast we will share with you 6 positive roles we each play in the lives of our spouse and in the life of our marriage! Each of these roles lead to us successfully navigating the inevitable rough spots every relationship will experience!

Learning to embrace these strategies will not only help with problem solving but will absolutely lead to a marriage relationship each of you can count on!

Knowing you can trust your mate during tough times is a huge win and a part of why God created marriage in the first place!

We trust you will enjoy this episode. Let us know if we can help you and your marriage in any way ...

Challenges come at our relationship from one of two directions - outside forces of life just happening or inside the marriage where two imperfect people struggle with the give and take of growing up as a couple together!

In this Your marriage Matters episode 140 we get A Professional Counselor's Wisdom for Dealing With Conflict!

Christie has been a Licensed Professional Counselor, or LPC, for over a decade and currently serves clients via two online platforms ... Talkspace and BetterHelp! Her day begins and ends with helping individuals and couples deal with the inevitable conflict that comes with life.

In this episode she shares with us her formulas for helping couples navigate the oft times difficult waters.

We spend a good bit of our time discussing what to do when things seem impossible! So, grab a notebook and some paper because you will want to write some of this stuff down!

Come on over to the Your Marriage Matters  Facebook Group for more great content and a community of like minded folks by Clicking Here! 

Let us know if we can help you in your journey!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

This week we continue the "I Am Not the Enemy" series with YMM 139 ... Two Great Problem Solving Strategies You Can Use TODAY!

The are our two favorite , real world, techniques we use regularly when Team Jacobus is working our way through a difficulty or a when a not so clear decision needs to be made!

Struggles are part of the deal! Disagreements are part of the deal! Even arguing, when done in a healthy way, are a part of any deeply committed relationship! How we handle these normal parts of a normal relationship makes all of the difference in the world. These two techniques can help you turn conflict resolution into a marital strength and give you confidence in yourself, and in your relationship!

Enjoy ... and let us know if we can help in any way!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

When asked what is our best marital advice we always answer the same ... "Fight Naked"! While taken literally it can be a very effective methodology ... after all, who wants to fight with a naked person!

All kidding aside the NAKED part is an acronym for 5 great things to remember to keep our disagreements both civil and productive at the same time. The 5 steps look like this:

• N stands for "nothing up your sleeve" or no hidden agendas.
• A stands for "assume the best" which we went into in depth last week in podcast #137 ... Click Here for that episode!
• K stands for "keep things respectful"! I am not the enemy and deserve your respect even in a disagreement.
• E stands for "engage in creating a positive outcome" and be a serious problem solver looking for solutions.
• D stands for "decide on a plan of action" and move forward. Don't just leave problems hanging so that they pop up again and again!

Does this acronym help us in working through the inevitable problems and conflicts we run into as a couple? You bet it does! Are we perfect at it? Nope, not yet! But we want to be and we appreciate that we both want to be a part of the solution and "not the enemy"!

Let us know what you think about this episode and if you have any questions! Do us a favor when you have a few - like, subscribe and share this podcast with others! We would greatly appreciate it!

Problems, struggles and conflict are signs of a healthy relationship! Two imperfect people working to build a life together are bound to have struggles by the mere fact that:

• They are male and female
• Grew up in different households
• Have different personality styles Have different views on sex, money, household roles and responsibilities, parenting and a dozen other subjects

All of this and more means there will be conflict! What matters is how we handle it!!!

This entire month we will be following the theme of "I Am NOT the Enemy" (thanks Ben and Megan Coleman) and looking closely at effective strategies and mindsets for turning the inevitable differences we are going to have into a strength in our relationships!

Knowing we have each other's back and that we will process struggles in a positive and healthy way builds confidence in ourselves and in each other!  It isn't easy but it is well worth it!

Jim & Christie Jacobus