Consider the following questions about communication:

• Am I willing to be open, transparent, and vulnerable?
• Am I willing to negotiate?
• As a speaker, can I clearly ARTICULATE my point of view?
• As a listener, can I FOCUS on what the other person is saying and give feedback to him/her?

Your assignment this week is to rate yourself and your spouse (gently!) from 1-10 on communication skills, both as a speaker and a listener.  Self-assessment is the way to identify your limitations and find a path to improvement!

Remember, COMMUNICATION IS A VITAL ISSUE THAT CAN BE THE #1 SOURCE OF PROBLEMS IN A MARRIAGE!  Join us for this important conversation!

LQOW:  Why does SHE want to know everything I’m thinking?

Fun Question of the Week:  What is your favorite quote?

In this episode of Your Marriage Matters, Jim and Christie discuss family size.  It's an important discussion to have before you get married, so you can understand your spouse's expectations.

In the end, it's a big decision to make and how many children you have can affect every area of your life.  Jim and Christie discuss all the aspects in this episode!

Welcome to YOUR MARRIAGE MATTERS!  Our topic today is one that must be explored in every marriage; it’s the idea of CONFLICT RESOLUTION.  This topic cannot be dealt with merely on the surface level, but requires a deeper look at the issues and root causes.

What are the three biggest sources of conflict in your relationship?

To answer the question, ask yourself the following questions to begin the thought process:

• What are the triggers (the “hot-button” topics) for conflict?
• What is at the heart of the conflict?
• What causes the conflict?
• Are the issues related to priorities or people?
• What is in the best interest of the marriage?

Your assignment is to write down the three sources of conflict and irritation you have identified and have your spouse do the same independently.  Then, compare what you have each written.

  Are you on the same page?  Often, couples experience CONFLICT in agreeing on what the sources of CONFLICT really are!  You must do the HARD WORK involved in resolving conflict, and the conflict cannot be resolved until it’s identified.  We each must be willing to look inside ourselves and be willing to change the only person I can change—ME!

Listener Question of the Week: 

 How do I bring up a difficult question and make it a productive conversation?

Fun Question of the Week:

What is your favorite thing to do on a rainy day?

Welcome to the YOUR MARRIAGE MATTERS podcast!  We have been teaching a class at church, and our question today comes out of that class.

What are three things that make you feel intentionally loved?

We want you to start this discussion with your spouse.  Write your ideas down and talk them over together.  You will see what the other person needs to feel loved.  Sometimes it may be the seemingly smallest gesture that means a big deal to your partner!  Remember that not all love is communicated through words.  This discussion will help you focus on what is important in the marriage and how your marriage can keep thriving throughout the years!

Sometimes one spouse may feel unlovable—like they don’t deserve love because of their past failures or insecurities.  This feeling can be a big barrier, and, of course, its sources need to be identified and addressed.  For our marriage to thrive, we each have to be good at GIVING and RECEIVING love!

Listener Question of the Week:  Are words ALWAYS the best form of communication?

Fun Question of the Week:  Other than immediate family, who has had a big impact on your life?

Welcome to the Your Marriage Matters podcast #019 from the book, “101 Conversations Every Couple should have before they Marry.” This podcast explores how you will individually and together approach decisions related to religion and spiritual matters.

Conversations of the Week - What do you think is the biggest threats you bring to your marriage, and what are you willing to do about it?

This question takes the topic from last week about the threats to your marriage, and it makes it personal.  

Why is it important?

This gives you an opportunity to identify your SWOTs.  What are your Strengths, Weaknesses Opportunities and Threats?Once you know what they are you can deal with them.

It also creates a heightened sense of self awareness.  This allows you to focus only on your SWOTS.

What do we need to consider when we have this conversation?

• We bring things to the marriage that are good and bad

• We can’t fix what we won’t acknowledge

• We gain confidence in our marriage.  

• Your marriage that “the team” is going to face these challenges  head up! 

• We all need grace for the things we struggle with.  We can ask each other for assistance.

• The intentionality of dealing with something you know you struggle with is important.

The willingness to be vulnerable with your threats also creates a greater sense of intimacy.  Being a safe person for your partner to share their weaknesses will create deeper bonds.  

Once you make this investment in each other and look at the threats, you really build a deeper commitment to your relationship.  

Listener Question of the Week - Why can’t he just let me vent?

Sometimes we bring up conversations just to be heard.  We don’t want it to be fixed, and we don’t expect anything to be done about it.  The process of verbalizing the issue is therapeutic in itself.  

When venting starts, a guys should ask “do you want me to fix it or do you want to vent?”.  Once the answer is “just vent”, turn your “fix it” button off and just listen and be supportive.  

Determining whether you are there to fix it or just to listen and support will save both of you frustration.  

Fun Question of the Week - What’s your favorite part of Summer?

Christie likes the outdoor activities in the sun.

Jim loves the July 4th holiday and all the activities that go along with it.

We hope this is a great conversation and you spend the time to really understand your partner’s beliefs and attitudes.

Have a great week gang!

Jim & Christie

Welcome to the Your Marriage Matters podcast with Jim & Christie Jacobus! Except it is Jim flying solo this week because Christie is sick and while her raspy voice is sexy as heck around the house we don’t think it will sound very good on the podcast! 

Our Conversation of the Week for this episode is– What do you think are the three biggest threats to the two of you having an extraordinary marriage? And why? What can you do now to keep the threats from becoming a reality?

• What a great conversation this one is! We love it because;
• It is part of a SWOT analysis!
• It will cause us to think about and become aware of the things each of us think might be a threat to our marriage down the road.
• ·         We can create some plans to be proactive about how to prevent the threat from becoming a reality!
• ·      It gives us an opportunity to give a voice to some of the fears we might have going into marriage!

Some of the most common threats we see that you might check in on would be;

• ·      Inability to effectively communicate
• ·      Inability to effectively resolve conflict
• ·      A poor picture from the start of what a healthy marriage looks like
• ·      Immaturity
• ·      Coming into the marriage with past wounds and hurts that haven’t been resolved

So, take about 30 minutes this week gang and individually list out the three threats you feel might threaten your having a vibrant, healthy marriage that will last a lifetime!

Our Listener Question of the Week – Jim … my fiancé wants me to get all involved in the A to Z  of planning the wedding. I would prefer to just show up at the appointed time and let her have the wedding she wants. What do you think?

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Fun question of the week – what is the biggest trick or surprise you have pulled on each other?

Have a great week gang!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

  Welcome to the Your Marriage Matters podcast #017 from the book, “101 Conversations Every Couple should have before they Marry.” This podcast explores how you will individually and together approach decisions related to religion and spiritual matters.

Conversation of the week – Do you see yourselves, as a couple, attending some form of church or worship? If so, where do you see yourselves going? 

This is an important conversation because it addresses core values and beliefs but also can be very difficult to discuss if there is a great difference in what is important.  For some people this decision concerning church attendance can be a “ deal breaker”

Several things to consider:

• Remain respectful to your differences
• Understand the importance of spiritual health
• Explore what feeds your soul—the beauty of nature, music, feelings of love and connection

The topic of religion can be very difficult especially if there are significant differences in your beliefs.  Be willing to ask for what you want or need because it is foundational to discussions about a multitude of topics.  This subject is crucial to the long term health of your relationship and starting on the same page is also gained in this conversation. 

Listener Question of the Week–my fiancé is very controlling and it is getting a little scary. My hope is this is going to go away after we marry and they see I am in this for the long haul. Is that reasonable for me to expect?

Fun Question of the Week  What is the one thing you are really proud of and why?

We hope this is a great conversation and you spend the time to really understand your partner’s beliefs and attitudes.

Have a great week gang!

Jim & Christie

Welcome to podcast #016 from our book 101 Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before They Get Married.  These podcasts are designed for engaged couples as well as those who are seriously dating.

This week’s conversation is, “Describe the legacy you would like your marriage to leave—what are the 3 most important values you want your marriage to reflect”

This conversation is a core value discussion and helps us discuss our marital expectations and deals with ... 

Attitudes and beliefs that we hold that often are hard to identify and discuss.

Provides clarity and direction

Helps us invest in the future

Creates accountability as an individual and as a couple.

This conversation reminds us of Steven Covey’s habit, “Begin with the end in mind”! If we do this we can expect an ability to focus on the bigger picture and have clarity about our direction and purpose

Our Listener Question of the Week-  We have made some serious mistakes in our relationship and we want to move on past some of the hurts we caused each other.  What is the best way to move past the mistakes of the past?

Our Fun Question of the Week?  Name one of your favorite child hood memories?

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Thank you for joining us for this podcast!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Your Marriage Matters Podcast #015

Creating A Vision For Your Wedding Day!

Hey gang ...  

Welcome to the Your Marriage Matters Podcast! Our Conversation of the Week is:

What are 3 things you envision when you think about your wedding day?

In this podcast we are reflecting upon a recent wedding Jim officiated and our experience with tons of premarried couples.  This is an important fundamental question about how you will, as a team, deal with each other's wants and needs.

This conversation is really important because it allows for a discussion about your hopes and dreams for your wedding day, even if you are only "seriously dating" and aren't really talking marriage just yet, as well as an experiment in collaboration and team work between you two as a couple. 

Remember that wedding planning can take a great deal of

• discussion
• decision making
• deliberation on a wide variety of subjects
• and dreaming about the future

It can also be a microcosm of how you make choices and collaborate.  You may want to involve others in the celebration and also many times it is advisable to delegate some of the tasks to a wedding planner.    

If we have this conversation now, we can intentionally plan for important decisions and learn together how we each problem solve. 

The engagement period can also help us to learn about how we each handle stress and deadlines. This time can be used to strengthen our vision as we look to the future. 

Our Listener Question of the Week—We are seeing our friends buying big houses when they first get married and that scares us.  What do you think?

So take the time to have a conversation about start to dream?

We hope you enjoy this podcast!

Jim & Christie

Welcome to podcast #014! Our podcasts are created for couples who are engaged or couples who are seriously contemplating marriage. The content comes from our book, “101 Great Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before They Get Married.” 

Your conversation of the week is ... 

“List 3 skills or characteristics that make you a good team member and how will they benefit your relationship”

This is an important conversation because individual skills are critical to any team and you each can identify what strengths you bring into the relationship.  Also you both can appreciate the diversity of your skills and learn from each other and lean on each other. 

It is important you each

·      Appreciate the differences you bring to the table

·      Know your strengths and weaknesses

·      Understand the importance of self management

·      Seek to enhance your relationship by improving each member of the team

Remember!!! You are both growing from two individuals into one team and in this process it is important you are able to communicate about the status of your team.

Some expectations from this conversation ... 

1) Perform a SWOT for your home team. In the same way organizations look at Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities and Threats, you can start to look at the status of your team.  This podcast has each person examine their individual strengths and how it will help the team.

2) Self-Awareness of what you bring to the team that will be valuable moving forward

3) Start to build the foundation for becoming more of a team and less about two individuals.

We hope you enjoy this week's conversation! 

Listener Question of the Week

How did you get to the point where you called yourselves, “Team Jacobus”

Your Marriage Matters - Dealing With The Inevitable Conflict! - YMM #013

Hey gang ...

Welcome to this week's episode of Your Marriage Matters for couples who are seriously dating or engaged to be married. We are dedicated to helping you build a healthy, vibrant relationship that will last a lifetime!

This week we are going to deal with the inevitable reality of conflict in our relationship! Trust us it is better to do it now rather than later. This week's conversation, from our 101 Conversations EVERY Couple Should Have Before They Get Married book, is as follows;

"What challenges or conflicts have you encountered in your relationship and how have you worked together to resolve them"?

In this podcast we are going to give you two really important reasons why this is an important conversation. And, we will give you a couple of real world techniques you can use to help you process differences in a positive and productive way.

When it is all said and done there is nothing wrong with having conflict. As a matter of fact we are really concerned when a couple says they don't fight or argue about anything! That is a big red flag!

The question becomes ... "are you fighting in your relationship or fighting for your relationship"? The first will kill your connection and the latter will make it stronger!

We hope you enjoy this week's episode!

Our Listener Question of the Week is - Do you believe you should never go to bed angry? If you have a "listener question" for us go to www.yourmarriage-matters.com/qif and post it in the comments section. We appreciate that and the tougher ... the better!

Have a great conversation this week gang ...

Jim & Christie

Hey gang!

Welcome to this episode of Your Marriage Matters podcast for couples that are engaged or seriously dating! Heck ... most of our stuff is pretty good if you have already tied the know to jump on in.

The subjects of our weekly conversations come right out of our soon to be published book - 101 Conversations EVERY Couple Needs To Have Before They Get Married! Each of them is designed just to get you talking and communicating with each other in a healthy way!

This week's conversation goes like this ...

What Are The Top 3 Things You Expect From Me?

1. As a woman?
2. As a wife?
3. As a mom?

Now, if you are seriously dating and the subject of getting engaged or married hasn't come up just yet simply tweak the question to say What Are The Top 3 Things You Are Going To Expect From A ...?

There are a ton of reasons why this is such a great conversation to have to guys grab a notepad to write stuff down on and ask away! The answers will give you tons of insights as to what lies ahead!

Blessings!

Your Marriage Matters - What Are The Top 3 Things You Expect From Me? - YMM #011

Hey gang!

Welcome to this episode of Your Marriage Matters podcast for couples that are engaged or seriously dating! Heck ... most of our stuff is pretty good if you have already tied the know to jump on in.

The subjects of our weekly conversations come right out of our soon to be published book - 101 Conversations EVERY Couple Needs To have Before They Get Married! Each of them is designed just to get you talking and communicating with each other in a healthy way!

This week's conversation goes like this ... What Are The Top 3 Things You Expect From Me?

1. As a man?
2. As a husband?
3. As a father?

Now, if you are seriously dating and the subject of getting engaged or married hasn't come up kust yet simply tweak the question to say What Are The Top 3 Things You Are Going To Expect From A ...?

There are a ton of reasons why this is such a great conversation to have to guys grab a notepad to write stuff down on and ask away! The answers will give you tons of insights as to what lies ahead!

Blessings!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Hey gang ...

We just got back from teaching one of our R3 Marriage Retreats in Rockport, Texas with our good friends Matt & Julie Barnhill. We had such a great time with all of the couples who were in attendance there ... it was a blast!

One of the things we have learned through the years is that every time we teach we also learn. We are going a little off script in this episode as we share what our 2 biggest takeaways were from the retreat. They were ... 

#1 - Everyone there wanted to improve their communication skills! DUH! In the podcast we go into why couples are looking for better communication skills and what are the top 3 things that get in the way!

#2 - Everyone there wanted to connect with other couples who were like minded! We discuss why it is people are wanting to find folks that share their common relationship struggles!

We know this comes from a retreat that was for folks that are already married but trust us ... one day you are going to be in the same place they are and we want you thinking about it and preparing for it in advance!

Your Conversation For the Week - this week we want you to talk about how you intend to be intentional ablout growing your marriage. Here is a question to help spur you on ... "what are 3 ways each of you intends to grow personally in the next 12 months that will help your relationship?" We want you to get into the mode of being a couple that is intentionally learning and investing in your relationship!

Our Listener Question of the Week is - my future spouse likes to hug everyone they meet, even at work! I think that is a bad idea and I am uncomfortable with it. What do you guys think?

As always, we hope you have a great week and enjoy your conversation!

Jim & Chriatie Jacobus

Welcome to 

5 Fun Date Night Questions

- YMM #009

Hey gang! We wanted to shift gears a little bit and have a little fun so we came up with 5 "Date Night" questions you can ask each other and just have a conversation that doesn't go anywhere but help you learn some cool stuff about each other! Maybe it will help you win "The Newlywed Game" someday!

Enjoy these conversations and put your answers in the comments section below!

1.     Best concert ever?

2.     What is your best memory of when we first started dating?

3.     What are 5 reasons why you love me?

4.     What is your favorite sport to watch? What is your favorite sport to play?

5.     If you could have a fantasy dinner party and invite any 4 guests you wanted to … where would you go to eat, what would be served, and who would your guests be?

What we wish for you, our listeners, is hope for your future and a great relationship and marriage if you are headed in that direction.  The key to this is great communication with each other.  So have some fun with these questions and a great date night!

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Your Marriage Matter

Your Marriage Matters - Podcast #008

What is our conversation of the week?

What are the 5 things you like about how you were raised and why do you like those things?

Here are a few thoughts about why this is an important conversation for pre-married couples and seriously dating couples to have;

• Every bit of who we are today comes from how we grew up! Insights into what we liked about that can give us ideas about how we can make our relationship a happy one!
• This helps you learn about your partner even deeper, their personal history and what really matters to them.  Through this you can explore your similarities and differences and work through those early in the relationship.
• Can just be interesting stuff to hear and satisfies our curiosity about the person we are going to spend the rest of our lives with!
• If you understand what has created positive memories for your partner in the past, and if you are listening; you can hear how you can make them happy in the future!
• Become aware of and sensitive to subjects like an unhappy childhood and dig in deep on what made each other happy growing up.  Great insights to be gained here.

Listener Question of the Week – We are starting to get serious in our dating relationship and marriage may be on the horizon. I would like to get to know my future in-laws better. What ideas do you have for making that happen?

Thanks for joining us this week gang.  We sincerely hope that you are enjoying and growing in your relationships from these conversations. 

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Your Marriage Matters

Welcome to Episode #007 of YMM.  Can’t believe we are headed in to our second month of these great conversations!

Today’s conversation of the week is:

How will household chores and responsibilities be handled?

–  There is a lot to do around even the smallest of households.  So, who is going to be responsible for what can be important?

–  Is the old style model of “the man does this” and the “little woman does this” antiquated?

–  Important to figure out what is a fair division of labor depending on career responsibilities.

–  Talk about your values concerning your home and what it should look like.

–  Consider hiring out whatever you both don’t like to do or can’t get around to as you can afford to! 

Listener Question of the Week – I have very high standards for how our home should look and my fiancé does not share my views. What should we do?

Fun Question of the Week – What is your favorite date night activity?

We challenge each of you to take the time to have this important conversation this week and don’t forget to send your questions and comments to us.

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Hey gang …

We have another great conversation topic for you this week!

If you were given an extra hour in a day,

what would you do with it?

This is a great conversation for couples to have…

·      It can really help us understand what we value, which can definitely be enlightening!

·      It can remind us that there are finite amounts of things we have control over and one of those is our time and how we spend it.

·      If you first talk about what your goals for your marriage are, then “what you do with your time” can be a better conversation.

·      There will be seasons in our lives where time needs to be used differently but no matter what stage you are in, how you choose to spend your time individually and together is important.

·      Are you investing time…or are you killing time?

·      In discussing how we choose to use our time, it is important to explore if we feel the need to get too many things accomplished in a day and are we making sure to save time to rest and relax.

·      One of the struggles can be finding a balance between what we “want” to do and what we “need” to do.  Do you make sure to carve out time to simply be together?

Our “Listener Question of the Week” is:

My fiancée is very spontaneous and I am much more of a planner.  How do we resolve the problems created by this?

Our “Fun Question of the Week” is:

List one fun activity you would like to try.

Listen in to the podcast and get Jim and Christie’s answers to these as well as more information about their insights on “time”.  That’s it for podcast #006. Have some fun with this conversation and continue committing to growing your very own healthy, vibrant, life long marriage!

Sincerely,

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Welcome everyone to Your Marriage Matters (YMM) podcast #004! 

Conversation of the Week: Who has been the biggest influence on the person you have become?  Why?  How?  We all come in to relationships bringing with us people and places that have been influential in our lives.  This is a great conversation to have early in a relationship.  Some influences have been good, yet some have been bad and understanding those plus and minuses helps us understand what makes each other tick. 

According to our good friend Randy Gage, “we are the sum total of the 5 people we spend the most time with”.  Think of parents and friends while you were growing up, we are kind of the average of those people.  Another thing to talk about is that we bring with us family and influences when we start a relationship and getting to know this information helps us understand what we love about each other as well as things we may struggle with.  It is important to know about the negative influences in each other’s lives as well because they definitely have a huge impact on who we have become. 

The other part to this conversation is becoming very aware of who we let in to our lives going forward, both individually and as a couple.  Build friendships that will help you grow as a couple.  In going through this conversation, it is important to remember that you are not chained to your past.  As you start a life together, it is like unpacking and repacking your bags.  Become a student of each other, learn who they are and why. 

 In going through this conversation, be aware that it is very critical to learn to trust each others judgment about the people you choose to hang out with.  Also if there are any relationships you bring in to the marriage that is strained for one of you, talk about it and work through it early on.

 Listener Question of the Week?  Is it a problem if we have very different childhood experiences?  I

Fun Question of the Week? Name the person you would most like to meet.

Homework for the week – Talk about the 5 people who are currently the most influential in your life and why.

Talk with you next time,

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Hey gang ...

Great conversation for everyone this week! 

What were the prevalent faith and belief systems in your home growing up?

This is a critical conversation for a couple of reasons ...

1. Important to know what they are and how they might impact our marriages moving forward!
2. We want to make sure that there aren't any "deal breakers" and if so now is the time to talk about them!

Some of our thoughts on this subject are;

• The fact that we might have differing belief systems or faiths can be an issue in the success of our marriage!
• They can also bring strengths to our lives moving forward.
• Learning to respect and appreciate our backgrounds as a part of who we are is an important lesson to learn in a number of areas including this one!

Our "Listener Question of the Week" is;

We attended one of your "Prepare To Last" classes and clearly going to church is what you do! Why do you think going to church is so important?

So, that's it for podcast #005. Now go and enjoy this conversation this week and continue committing to growing your very own healthy, vibrant, life long marriage!

Sincerely,

Jim & Christie Jacobus

YOUR MARRIAGE MATTERS

Let’s Talk About Sex Baby!

YMM #003

Welcome to Your Marriage Matters podcast #003 with Jim & Christie Jacobus.  We have a great question today.  We are going to talk about sex and how important that conversation is! 

Our conversation of the week is: I think sex should occur ______ number of times per week! 

We think this conversations is so important because sex is more to this questions than just about sex, it is also about expectations.  Discussing this topic in our pre-marital classes we always point out that “sex is a lot like money, if you have all you want it is no big problem; if you don’t have all you want it is a huge problem”. 

In one of our sessions there was a person who responded with 50 times per week, which truly is an unrealistic expectation.  The intended partner answered with 2 times per week.  As you can see by this example, discussions about sex and expectations is so important. 

We should learn to freely discuss this topic, what we like and dislike, what our expectations are.  One of the great things about sex is it brings us together as one, therefore we should be able to discuss this keeping in mind our differences as male and female as well as the unique individuals we are. 

We want to help you get comfortable with this very difficult conversation as well as many more like it.  Coming from a medical standpoint there are times when a physical or mental challenge presents itself, and those times need to be discussed as well or see the need for expert advise.  Bottom line, sex is a wonderful gift we need to be able to talk about and how we treat this gift has a lot to do with how much we are able to enjoy the gift.

There are a few things/hurdles we need to be aware of during this conversation?  Differences, beliefs, attitudes can affect this conversation.  There can be things in one’s past that makes it difficult to discuss or painful.  It is important to be respectful of that. 

Another thing to contemplate is the old saying “women need to feel love to have sex and men need to have sex to feel love”.  If we are selfish and self centered, in opposite corners of the ring on this, theen nobody gets what they want and need out of sex. 

Here is our “Listener Question of the Week”?

We have been told that we should stop having sex for 90 days before we get married.  What do you guys think about this? 

Tune in to hear what Jim and Christie have to say about this awesome question!

If you have a question you would like to give us, go to www.your marriage-matter.com/qif. 

Our “Fun Question of the Week”?

Would you prefer a vacation in Hawaii or Europe? 

In closing, thanks for joining us for this podcast.  We sincerely challenge you to commit to each other that you will take the time to have these types of difficult and important conversations and your relationship will continue to get better, because Your Marriage Matters! 

 Jim & Christie Jacobus

Welcome gang to Your Marriage Matters (YMM) podcast #002!

 Conversation of the Week: What are your plans to handle money after you are married?  This can definitely be a very difficult conversation.  It is critical because it is one of the tough ones and it sets up so many important things down the road.  Having a plan regarding your financial resources is key for having a successful marriage. 

Questions such as who is going to handle the bill paying and will you have joint or separate checking accounts is a good place to start in order to have clear expectations.  Whether you have a lot or a little, learning to manage money together will help in avoiding it becoming a problem.  Exploring how you each grew up around money, what did and didn’t work, and your own philosophies regarding money is a great exercise in communication and can help in the decision making. 

Make sure it isn’t just about the facts and figures, but also the attitudes and beliefs about money.  Budget, budget, budget….extremely important in your plan for money matters.  This creates an awareness that can help avoid stress and it creates a co-awareness that is ideal for being a successful couple. 

 If you are struggling with this conversation, be aware that each of you may come at this differently and that doesn’t mean that either of you is wrong.  Realize that you have to be open and transparent and that in doing so it will make your marriage stronger.  Because if you can handle this tough one, you will know that you have good communication skills and that you are developing some great conflict resolution skills!  One thing we highly recommend is that no matter what system you use to handle money, passwords on those accounts should be not be private.  Don’t create financial infidelity!

 Listener Question of the Week?  Money is very tight for us right now, so what is one piece of advice you would give couples on a limited budget?  

Fun Question of the Week? What is the one item you like to splurge on?  

Homework for the week -  Answer and talk about these questions:

• -Are you a spender or a saver?
• -What plan are you going to have for a budget?

Talk with you next time,

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Your Marriage Matters

Podcast Zero!

Meet the Jacobus’

Welcome to the very first Your Marriage Matters (YMM) podcast! We are so excited about launching this, so we are doing it TODAY on Valentine’s Day which is also our anniversary! 

In this inaugural podcast, we want to answer 3 very important questions:

• -Who are the Jacobus’?
• -What is this podcast about?
• -Why should you as a seriously dating couple or engaged to be married couple care?

Who Are The Jacobus’? – We are Jim & Christie and have been married for 28 years on 2/14/2015.  We live in Sugar Land, Texas just outside of Houston.  One of the struggles we have had together has been with infertility; however we do have 1 son from Jim’s previous marriage so we are blessed.  Our son, Jason, is 30 years old and is married to an awesome bride Caitlyn. They have one son Loklan and another child is due in August! 

Christie is a nurse that works for the Memorial Hermann system where she is a nurse educator.  She is also an LPC (Licensed Professional Counselor) with Barnhill & Associated Counseling Center.  Christie focuses on working with married couples but her biggest passion is “pre-marrieds”!  Guys you are going to love listening to Christie because she brings a sweet, passionate, and patient voice to the podcast. 

Jim is a CSP, Certified Professional Speaker, and speaks at conferences literally all over the world!  He is also the Chief Content Officer at TheSalesGladiators.com which is a membership sales training site for sales professionals.  Jim has been heavily involved in teaching Divorce Care for several years and loves leading that study and giving people hope for their future!  You are going to love hearing from Jim because of his dedication, expertise, and passion for marriage.

What is this podcast about? – You can find these podcasts on ITunes and www.yourmarriage-matters.com.  Not only are we going sharing information with you via the podcasts, but we will also be blogging!  Each week the podcast comes straight from our book 101 Conversations Every Couple Should Have Before They Get Married!  These questions come from 10 different categories we cover when we teach our pre-married workshops and conferences.  Some are going to be fairly easy and some could be a little difficult. 

We will be encouraging you to have conversations about things like communications, conflict resolution, money, sex, family, parenting, roles and responsibilities and much, much more!  Each week we will introduce a conversation from the book, talk about why that conversation matters, give you some guidelines for having the conversation, and let you know if there are any hurdles you should watch out for.  Then we are going to answer 1 listener question each week from you guys so bring on your toughest questions!  To leave a question go to www.yourmarriage-matters.com/qif and let us know what you want to know!  And then we will send you off with a fun question to deal with as well!

So, Why should you care? - We have been involved in marriage work for the last 15 years and the two biggest challenges we see in failed marriages are:

• -Inability to communicate – transparently, openly, and safely about any and every thing
• -Inability to solve problems or resolve conflict within the marriage 

We chose this route because we care about you and your marriage and we thought this would be the best way to help keep you out of the counselors office and out of divorce court and most importantly help you build a healthy and vibrant marriage that lasts a lifetime!

In closing, Christie’s hope for everyone listening is that they will learn and grow and develop the skills needed to have the marriage you dream of.  And Jim hopes to share that marriage is indeed challenging but when done properly it can be the most fulfilling thing ever - being invested in each other’s life because it doesn’t get much better than that.  We care about you and your marriages and want you to build a lasting legacy that will be passed down to your children and their children.

Hope you enjoy this first podcast and begin looking forward to what’s coming up.

Jim & Christie Jacobus

Hey folks ...

Welcome to our very first podcast! We are launching this show on Valentine's Day 2015 which just happens to be our 28th wedding anniversary! Yep, we were married 28 years ago today in a hot air baloon and felt it would be fitting to kick off the podcast as an anniversary gift to each other.

In this week's podcast we are going to tackle the conversation - "What are your plans for growth, both personally and professionally, individually and as a couple, after you get married! Having an understanding of and a plan for continual growth after you "tie the knot" is critical to a vibrant, healthy relationship.

So, listen to the podcast and then sit down and have your discussion. We think you will find it valuable to know what each other has in mind as far as long term growth is concerned!

The Listener Question of the Week - What are the Jacobus' plans for growing in 2015?

Enjoy your conversation this week!

Jim & Christie Jacobus