Welcome everyone to Your Marriage Matters (YMM) podcast #004!
Conversation of the Week: Who has been the biggest influence on the person you have become? Why? How? We all come in to relationships bringing with us people and places that have been influential in our lives. This is a great conversation to have early in a relationship. Some influences have been good, yet some have been bad and understanding those plus and minuses helps us understand what makes each other tick.
According to our good friend Randy Gage, “we are the sum total of the 5 people we spend the most time with”. Think of parents and friends while you were growing up, we are kind of the average of those people. Another thing to talk about is that we bring with us family and influences when we start a relationship and getting to know this information helps us understand what we love about each other as well as things we may struggle with. It is important to know about the negative influences in each other’s lives as well because they definitely have a huge impact on who we have become.
The other part to this conversation is becoming very aware of who we let in to our lives going forward, both individually and as a couple. Build friendships that will help you grow as a couple. In going through this conversation, it is important to remember that you are not chained to your past. As you start a life together, it is like unpacking and repacking your bags. Become a student of each other, learn who they are and why.
In going through this conversation, be aware that it is very critical to learn to trust each others judgment about the people you choose to hang out with. Also if there are any relationships you bring in to the marriage that is strained for one of you, talk about it and work through it early on.
Listener Question of the Week? Is it a problem if we have very different childhood experiences? I
Fun Question of the Week? Name the person you would most like to meet.
Homework for the week – Talk about the 5 people who are currently the most influential in your life and why.
Talk with you next time,
Jim & Christie Jacobus